I think I may have a problem. Duck vindaloo had been served on my plate twice, before I finally realized what I was eating. Not that I had a problem with the food, I just had a problem with the waiter serving it to me in my house. In my bed. While I was trying to nap. He just came right in and put the plate on my head board, and asked if I would like a drink. I said tea. He asked how I took it. I replied, "Iced, with lemon." Once my drink was served I sat up in my bed. Now, as nice as my bed felt, I felt a little uncomfortable with the waiter standing there waiting for the payment.
"You expect me to pay for this?"

Once I had gotten through the whole restaurant inter-dimension jumping in my own room problem, I needed to take a walk. This is because I've recently been hit by a car full of Calamari beasts, and my physiotherapist (who was in fact a pterodactyl) thought I should start taking walks. So I did. After about ten minutes, I saw a man who had a zit that dwarfed my little brother. This pimple was massive. As I stared, it grew a pair of eyes, and a mouth. It spoke in a raspy voice, and asked if I know what time it was. "About Half past 3." The zit went wide eyed and yelled "The curse of Ali Minono Tekapart the third has ended!" And let out an ear piercing scream. It exploded, flooding the city block with oily, disgusting puss.
"Ew."

"omglol i m da homogay omg da pr0n" I nodded at Steve's comment, and I replied "Yes, U R DA Homogay." He smiled his toothy smile, and I could see the drool dripping off his chin. I felt sorry, for his brain was recently replaced with a mule's brain. Which isn't much better then what he used to have. Since mule's are the only creatures I know that can actually verbally talk in text speak, I got used to comments like that. Doug came downstairs, walking on the ceiling. His hair drooped and brushed against my face. Greasy and disgusting Smooth and silky as usual. I felt sorry for Doug. Not because his feet were permanently in an anti-gravity bubble, but because he had a really hard time swallowing food. And he could never step outside, ever. It explained why he was so pastey white. Daniel was recently eaten alive by our Chinchilla's. The two Chinchilla's escaped, and Daniel was casualty. But we only grieved, because Chinchilla's ran away from home. Doug was caught saying "Daniel who?" Another tragedy struck when Zach, my best friend, was hanged by his own hair. We found his body, covered with picture frames. No one understands why.
"Zach who?"

As I crawled into bed, I felt something furry at my feet. I pulled off my covers, and there they were. The missing Chinchillas. They stared at me, with those beady, hungry eyes. Hungry. They were so hungry. I noticed my toe nails were trimmed. It was frightening. Very frightening. They slowly started to chew on my leg hairs. I screamed and kicked, sending them flying against the wall. They landed and stared at me with those dreadful empty eyes. They weren't hurt, but they were annoyed. I stood up and went to the door. "Fine," I said, "we'll get you some food, and get you back in your cage." I opened the door to find a T-rex staring at me. Somehow my room was teleported to Dinosaur era, and here was a very, very big Dino. His drool started to drip on my head. "Ew, dude. The smells like cabbage." The T-rex burst into tears and ran away. Apparently he has a very bad case of Halitosis. I went to the nearest bus stop, sat down and waited for the next bus that would take me to about 20 million years in the future. Hands full of the two chinchilla's, I got on the bus and went home. Feeding the Chinchilla's, putting them into the cage, I smiled. I just gave them two cheerios.
"What a bunch of fatties."

I walked up the stairs. Doug was sitting down, on the ground. Daniel was alive and well, playing video games. Steve was at his house, with, infact, a human brain. And Zach was probably sniffing his mom, saying "Are you my friend?" That being sad, I slid under my covers, and closed my eyes. Today was a normal day, nothing out of the ordinary. I guess I just see the world through eyes like no one elses. I guess I see a different world, eh?
"Nate, you're a weirdo."

Nate, you're a weirdo.

It's classic, what can I say?

You are a cleft bumhole.