This is my entry for wozzas competition. No harm in sharing it to get your feedback.

I came up with this idea while festering over why Rare has yet to make a Conker sequel. I came up with a scene/parody for the next game from Pirates of the Caribbean 2. See if you can pick the scene. It'll be in script form:

Chapter name: Stinkers and floaters.

*Conker is turned small by a Weasal scientist related to Von Cripplespac and is flushed down a toilet*

Conker awakes to a foul stench. He is dressed in Pirate garb.

Conker: "Uuuugh, what is that smell?" sits up in seated position.

Looks around to see he's on board a ship *shaped like a crap, with the cardboard centers of toilet rolls as masts and toilet paper as sails*, sailing through an ocean of poo. The ships crew are sweetcorn dressed in various types of pirate garb.

Conker: "Oh great, where have I seen this before..."

Sweetcorn turns to look at Conker, then questions nearby sweetcorn.

*Sweetcorn squeaks for speech, english subtitles in speech bubble*

Sweetcorn one: "Who the f@#$ is that?" *Swearing is still censored with a beep even though it's just squeaking*


Sweetcorn two: "You only just noticed him laying there? You're so thick you cause constipation!"

Sweetcorn one: "F@#$ you! Your mother was a cranberry!"

Sweetcorn two: "Oh yeah? Well your mother was a dumb cow who drank Cranberry!"

Sweetcorn one: "Don't quote the previous game dumb ######! It breaks character!"

Conker *muffled angry squeaking in background*: "Ahhh, excuse me...Can one of you tell me where I am?"

Both sweetcorn ignore Conker and continue with argument. *just aggressive sounding squeaking, no subtitles*

Conker: "Oookay then, better find the Captain".

Conker gets up, and is now player controlled. Player runs around deck of ship looking for Captain, and when they find him, he appears to be a dung beetle with Jack Sparrow style dreadlocks.

Conker: "Ah, I take it by your unique appearance you're the skipper of this piece of ###### ship?".

Captain looks at Conker with head tilted sideways, then turns to shipmate.

Captain: *in classic dung beetle accent* "Sailor, this 'ere be a stowaway aight?"

Sweetcorn shipmate: *squeaks* "Aye sir. he ain't one of us".

Captain: "Aye I f@#$in' see that I eat ######, I'm not blind. you 'ere, what brings your ranger arse on me vessel?"

Conker: "Uhhh, I was hoping you could tell me"

Captain: "Aight, well yea' ain't 'ere by magic. What the f@#$ do ya 'memba?" *halfway threw Captains sentence, sweetcorn shipmate behind Captain gets snatched by pooey hand*.

Conker: "Uhh well....Oh....######"

Captain: "Aight there be ###### everywhere 'ere why you want some aye?"

*Conker shakes head and points to behind Captain*

Captain turns as another sweetcorn bounces into view, and a pooey hand rises out of poo ocean with sweetcorn shipmate screaming in its grasp, then quickly sinks back down.

Sweetcorn *scream like squeak*: "MIGHTY POOOOO!" *sweetcorn quickly bounces off in panic*

Captain: "Ah ###### aight! I'm outta 'ere!" *Captain flies off*

Chaos engulfs ship as multiple hands emerge from the poo ocean around the ship, one of them waving at Conker. Queue symphony.

Great Mighty Poo dramatically emerges from the poo ocean as overture begins with Conker in the foreground, *Conker very slowely turning to face him* Mighty Poo stops his ascent, clears his throat, then blasts Conker with a loud, deep Opera opener.

Conker gets sprayed with sticky poo and pieces of toilet paper as half decomposed dead sweetcorns with X's for eyes bounce across the deck in background.

Conker: "Errrgh, yuck. *Pause* You again...".

*Mighty Poo recites opening verse of his song*

Conker must use the ships cannons to defeat the Mighty Poo. In front of each cannon is a laxative shaped like a cannon ball. The player must load each cannon first in the lulls of Mighty Poos attack (coughs up and and picks out of his teeth more decomposing sweetcorns and throws them at Conker) and fire them at his arms. Once all the arms are down, the Mighty Poo does a "Ah ah ahhhh!" and Conker must fire a laxative into his mouth.

Every now and then, the dead sweetcorns will become zombie/skeleton like and attack Conker. Conker deals with them by using his frying pan to whack them overboard.

the battle follows the same pattern as the original: one shot into Mighty poos mouth for next verse of his song, then two and finally three, each time the laxatives making the Mighty Poo more and more sloppy to the point that Poo is sliding off him like sweat. After the final shot, he becomes angry and starts causing massive waves in the poo ocean to make the ship rock violently. At this point, Conker can take control of the ship at its helm and sail it straight into the Great Mighty Poo in a collision. The ships bow splits Mighty Poo in half and he is defeated.

The sweetcorns emerge from their hiding spots below deck to congratulate Conker and make him their new Captain. Conker then sails the ship out of a sewage pipe and into the open. The sweetcorns drop him off and sail away. Finding out how to become big again becomes Conkers next objective and leads into the next chapter, where he walks amongst the grass and plant life at ground level and encounters characters/enemies which look extremely similar to the ants in Jet Force Gemini.

What do you think?

Pretty funny, and I'm glad you used the setting properly in the Conker's situation. It's good overall, and the battle makes sense. However, I feel like you could have put maybe a bit more into the situation to make things more interesting. The ship on the sea of ###### was great LOL I wouldn't have thought of that. And the zombie sweetcorn actually did the trick. But like, instead of having the ship collide onto the boss with the waves and all, couldn't he have been killed by say, something else? Just a thought. But otherwise, good job.